Thinking out loud

When I was a little child I was very wise for my age ahead of my class..Instead of Playing with baby dolls I wanted to heal people and make them better. Every since I was a child it seemed as though I had a promising future and I was every one's Golden Child....As I got Older I became Naive,Lazy, and undependable...Why?Because I had no child hood always treated as an adult with many responsibilities, I began to think If I was Lazy then no one would ask me for anything of expect so much from me!..The Roles I played became an Permanent Mind Set for me as a Person.
What I looked at as a disaster for a child and something too much for me to Handle is something I wish I could have again It motivated me and Inspired me. Since High School It seems Like my life has took a down fall...New Chapter in my life a New Jackie...I became a nicer person and person reliable to my friends because I used to be so cruel to them and an unreliable person to my parents and teachers(the ones who used to expect so much for me)I thought that this new Change in my life would make me a better person...My mother always told me a good attitude will sometimes get you farther than a good education...I have always wanted to go far in life but I think I took that advice the wrong way...Some of the people I have let into my life has made my life a difficult life to live!...I am known to be loyal but maybe to loyal because lately my loyalty and dedication to my friends has gotten me into trouble. I had to learn the hard way that the only person who is by my side is God and the only person who really cares about me is MY Mother...

Boys will always be here so I have a lot of time to focus on them and now is really not the time

Material things are not important...those are things my mom buy for me and work hard for me to have...if I dont work hard and get a good education I will never have the things I will really need.

Leaving you I want to tell you that everything happens for a reason the timing the place, everything...Every person that comes in your life is there for a reason. From every situation learn something and take that with you!...Learn from your mistakes dont dwell on them because once its done you can never take it back, you can just never do it again